In All This Chaos, We Found Safety
by marvelandimagine
Summary: Loki x reader. After being raped, impregnated and abandoned by her ex-boyfriend, the reader finds comfort in her childhood friends Thor and Loki. Loki and her grow even closer and he's always had a crush on her. Just when the reader seems to be doing well, her rapist returns and she faces him with her friends by her side. Then happy ending :) *TRIGGERS FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIMS*
1. Chapter 1

"Noba, please don't go," you whispered, tears streaming down your face.

The door slammed and he was gone, and you sank to the floor sobbing, left alone with the crushing weight of your newfound pregnancy and the stabbing truth that the man you had loved had left you broken and afraid. You bit your knuckles as tears fell hard and fast, unsure of how you were supposed to put the pieces of yourself that had been shattered back together.

You walked through the ornate palace doors and couldn't help staring at the intricately decorated ceiling. You had been working in the palace as a royal guard for a long time, but the beauty of the castle had always filled you with hope. But today was different – you looked up like usual and saw nothing but chipping paint and muted colors.

You wandered down the long hallway, a few fellow castle guards smiling and nodding at you in acknowledgement. Your face remained blank as you waved a hand carelessly back. You rounded the corner and came upon Thor and Loki's adjoining rooms. "Hey, Y/N," your friend Kovu said cheerily, his green eyes sparkling. "I thought you were off duty today?" "I am," you said quietly. You took a deep breath. "I just needed - is Thor or Loki around?" Kovu's smile faded slightly. "Yeah, I think they were down training. Are you OK? You don't look so good." You forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine, Kovu. Thanks, though. I'll see you." "Alright, see you," he said, his face still drawn with lines of concern.

You had known Thor and Loki since you were a girl, the daughter of Frigga's handmaiden. You had played with them, fought with them and had forged an inseparable friendship with the pair. A friendship that you were counting on more than ever right now.

You turned a few more corners, pushing open the heavy oak doors to the palace's training room to hear a familiar warm laugh. "Is that all you got, brother?" Thor chuckled, holding Loki in a tight headlock. "Just wait," Loki snarled, his dark hair falling in his eyes. "I - Y/N," he broke off in surprise as his eyes followed you in through the archway. "Y/N!" Thor cried out happily, still keeping his grip on his adopted brother. "Come, this fight has been won," he said smirking, releasing Loki. Loki rubbed his neck, his cheeks flaring up with embarrassment. "So, Y/N," Loki stammered. "What brings you here?"

You crossed your arms, your windpipe constricting as you felt waves of fear and pain flooding through you. "Um, I," you broke off, your voice cracking as your eyes filled with tears.

In a second, Thor and Loki were both at your side. "What is wrong? Has someone hurt you? Was it Noba?" Thor asked, his eyes darkening. You bit your lip and nodded your head. "I will rip his skull in two," Thor snarled, actually starting to move toward the door. Loki held his brother back, his eyes still fixed on yours. "Y/N," he said softly. "What happened?"

At the sight of Loki's compassionate gaze, you broke down, telling the brothers the whole story. Loki sat patiently the whole time, though his jaw was set in a hard line of anger. Thor, on the other hand, let out loud exclamations of profanity as he stood up several times to, once again, head for the door to go annihilate your now ex-boyfriend.

"It all happened so fast," you muttered through your tears. "We were both drunk and he wanted to have sex, I didn't. But the next thing I knew, we were and I just let it happen because I didn't know what else to do," you whispered miserably. "And when I found out I was pregnant, I never thought he would leave. I just couldn't believe – I thought he loved me. I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to go to. I just needed to tell someone because I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't raise this kid alone. I'm so scared." You buried your face in your hands as you cried, painfully aware of your ragged sobs echoing around the cavernous room.

You looked up at the touch of Loki's hand on your shoulder. "Come here," he said softly, pulling you into a hug. You wrapped your arms tightly around him, trying your best to steady your breathing. Loki ran a hand up and down your back lightly and you felt the tears start coming again, mixed with an overwhelming gratitude for the man holding you in his arms. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. You felt another pair of arms wrap tightly around you from behind, and you couldn't help but smile in the hug-sandwich.

"Guys, this is so nice but I'm getting smushed here," you said with a quiet laugh. You all untangled and Thor tilted your chin upward. "Y/N, you will not be alone in this. If you want the child, he or she will be surrounded by the finest of Asgard. I will not allow you worrying about the birth of your first born. You will have all the help you need at your disposal, and" he added smiling, "I will be at your side constantly. As for Noba," he said growling. "We will find him and he will face Asgardian justice."

You shook your head sadly. "There's no point, Thor. What are the High Judges going to do? All they'll say is that if I didn't want him, I should've said no. That it's my fault for letting it happen, that I shouldn't have been drunk anyways. They'll ask how a member of the royal guard wasn't able to fend off one man. He won't be punished."

Thor sat speechless for a moment. Loki stood up, grabbing your hand in his and pulling you to your feet. "He will still face justice. But not court justice – OUR justice." Thor grinned. "Excellent, brother." "Y/N," Loki said seriously. "I'm here for you. We all are. Everyone here loves you," he said, his cheeks heating up, "and will love your child just as much. You won't be alone in this. And we aren't going to let Noba walk away from this unscathed. He will suffer for what he has put you through." You nodded. "Thank you, Loki," you murmured, your eyes filled with tears. "Just don't kill him," you added plainly. "Anything else is fair game."

Thor pressed a light kiss to your forehead. "I'll go round up our friends. I am sure they will be more than willing to come with us to avenge you after they here about Noba's disgrace." He walked out the door, leaving you and Loki alone.

You sighed deeply. "You should go rest, Y/N," Loki said gently. "You've got another's health to think about now." You smiled wryly. "I guess I do." You looked at Loki, hesitating for a brief second before wrapping your arms around him. "Thank you, and thank your brother for me. I couldn't be doing this without your support. You've made me feel like I can actually do this, that my child can have a good life." Loki pulled back and smiled at you adoringly. "You're going to be a wonderful mother. That child is much better off without Noba anyways. He never deserved someone as – well as great as you," he said quickly. You smiled softly. "Thanks, Loki. I just need time to heal from this." You moved to leave but he grabbed your hand. "Y/N," he breathed out. "You know I'll always be here, right? Anything you need, anytime, come find me. I'll keep you safe." You hugged him again, lingering longer than before to savor the warmth of his clothes and the feeling of his arms wrapped around you. You broke apart. "You're the best, Loki." You kissed his cheek gently and walked out the door, wiping away tears but smiling slightly. You knew were going to be ok.


	2. Chapter 2

– 6 months later –

"Ugh, all I want right now is a 5 course meal comprised of only desserts," you said sadly to Loki as you rubbed your protruding belly. "You here that, little one? Stop making me want all of the chocolate things in the galaxy," you yelled at your stomach.

Loki chuckled and you glared at him. "Shut up, you're not the one who's gained like 100 lbs," you said miserably. You and Loki had undoubtedly grown even closer during this time; you were overwhelmed with gratitude at how patient and helpful he had been with you as you struggled to recover from Noba while trying to focus on staying healthy and positive for your baby. You were excited for the birth of your firstborn, but man, did you hate all of the stuff that came with pregnancy – especially the intense mood swings. You were hyper sensitive and often, as you tearfully apologized to Thor one night after you screamed at him for making fun of your messy bun, a "hyper bitch."

"Y/N, shhhh," Loki said soothingly as he braided your hair away from your face. "You still look above average even in your pregnancy." You raised your eyebrows and giggled. "Above average? What's that supposed to mean? That I can sort of still see my toes if I lean way over?" Loki started stammering, "Well - I," but was cut off with a loud series of knocks on the door of "your" room.

You had moved into the palace upon Thor and Loki's insistence after telling the brothers that you were pregnant. They were both adamant that you should be surrounded by friends and the palace help – and having your own spacious, cozy room of your own with a wonderful view of the lower grounds wasn't too shabby. You wouldn't admit it to either of them, but you were relieved at being there – ever since Noba raped you and left, you had anxiety attacks that often left you shaking and sobbing as you tried to catch your breath. Thor put you on temporary leave from the royal guard – despite the screaming match you had where you insisted you were fine – to give you time to heal and focus on your mental health and baby. Loki was always able to soothe you, no matter how worked up you got, so you had been spending as much time with him as possible.

"Come in," you called out, surprised to see Lady Sif's exquisite face pop in the door. "Y/N, we need to get you out of here," she said firmly – the tone of her voice made your heart drop. "What do you mean?" You inquired; you felt waves of prickly fear racking your body and you tried to steady yourself before it turned into a full fledged panic attack. Lady Sif turned her gaze to Loki. "Loki, take her out of the palace. We finally found him – or rather, he found us." You felt Loki tense beside you as he snarled the one name you never hoped to hear again, "Noba."

Sif nodded. "He knows she's here, he took down three of the guards before we finally managed to get him restrained." You squeezed your eyes shut as memories flooded back; Noba holding your wrists down in a dark bedroom, the consuming feeling of helplessness, you still pleading with him to not leave you alone with child. You crossed your arms tightly as if trying to squeeze the painful recollections out of you, opening your eyes to concerned looks from Loki and Sif. "Y/N, it's ok. I won't let him hurt you again," Loki said, a formidable expression spreading across his pale face. You got your breathing under control and made a decision. "I know, Loki. But I need to face him." "No!" Sif and Loki cried out. Sif shook her head. "Y/N, we need to keep you and the baby safe. If anything goes wrong …" "Didn't you just hear Loki? I'm not as afraid of Noba when I know he'll be there. I need this, Sif, otherwise he's going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I can't raise my child right if I can't move forward from this." Your voice cracked slightly. Sif's expression softened and she pulled you into a hug. "OK, Y/N. We will be right by your side." You shot a sideways glance at Loki and he nodded solemnly, squeezing your hand with a small smile. You stood up gingerly with one hand on your stomach as Loki helped you up. "Let's do this," you said, swallowing the lump in your throat as the three of you stepped out the door.

-  
You entered the high vaulted room where Noba was being held by the guards – and Thor – behind Sif, your hand clenching Loki's. Thor immediately rushed up to Sif. "What is she doing here?" He hissed ferociously. "She needs closure on this, Thor. It's her decision," Sif said simply. Thor looked at you and you nodded fervently. He sighed. "If this is what you need, Y/N."

You stepped forward toward your rapist, amazed at the sudden sense of power that swept over you. You were there surrounded by your friends and you felt surprisingly ready. There he sat with his hands bound, guards encircling him. Flicking his blond hair out of his emerald green eyes, Noba looked up and smiled at you. "There she is. I've missed you, babe." You felt revolted and enraged, how dare he even look at you smiling after what he out you through. "I am not your babe, you disgusting pile of bilge. I could slit your throat right now and not give a damn," you said icily as you clenched your fists.

Noba laughed. "Always one for the dramatic. We know you're not going to kill me. Especially not when I'm the father of our child." "YOU HAVE NO CLAIM OVER MY CHILD! YOU RAPED ME NOBA," you yelled out. You heard your voice ringing clear and strong, unwavering throughout the echoing room and you felt a surge of adrenaline. "You have NO say in this matter. You raped me and you left me when I told you I was pregnant. What part of your tiny brain thinks you would have any right to be here? That I would even think for a second of letting you back into my life? That you would EVER be able to see my child?" You paused as you tried to catch your breath.

Noba's smile fell from his face as his expression contorted into a sneer. "You wouldn't have had that child without me; you didn't even want to have sex, you dumb bitch!" He cried out.

Thor started forward, but Loki got there first. Kneeling down at eye level with Noba, Loki pulled out a small dagger nonchalantly, running the tip under the edge of Noba's throat. "You admit you raped her and call her a dumb bitch," Loki said quietly, his voice shaking with suppressed anger. Noba's eyes widened in fear. "I didn't, I didn't mean it." "Oh, I believe you did," Loki said, his tone more controlled now but even more dangerous. "You abused and violated this woman. You left her on her own with a baby to come. You then show up, in the presence of everyone who loves her, to further demean her? To try to get her back under your control? Well it will never happen," Loki hissed, pressing the blade to Noba's throat where tiny beads of crimson appeared. "This is the last time you will ever see her and you will never see your child. Now that your admittance to rape has been accounted for by witnesses, you will either rot in the dungeons of Asgard for all your days, or you will be killed. Either way, you will never, EVER, hurt this perfect woman ever again."

You couldn't help it, you beamed at Loki in his display of how far he would really go to protect you. You felt something in you stir as you looked at him with his soft dark hair and his ice blue eyes turning to gaze back at you. He put the knife down, walking back to you and placed it in your hand. "The choice is yours," he murmured.

Noba scoffed. "So that's it, huh? You get a little crush on her and think threatening me will make her want you? Pathetic."

Loki opened his mouth to retort but you grabbed his arm, shaking your head. You looked down at Noba, filled with a mixture of pity and hatred. "You're the pathetic one, Noba. And you can rot in the lowliest cells of Asgard for the rest of your days." You looked up at Loki, his eyes narrowing. "He doesn't deserve to live," he hissed. You exhaled. "He doesn't. But my child will not have a murderer for a mother." "Then let me kill him," Loki muttered, his eyes shooting daggers at your ex boyfriend. You smiled softly. "No, Loki. This is my decision to make. He will sit alone in those wretched cells and someday, maybe someday, he will feel remorse for what he has done. And he will live with that for the rest of his life."

You nodded at the guards, who grabbed Noba and started to drag him away. "You'll regret this Y/N," he screeched out. You watched him coldly until the doors slammed shut.

You looked at Thor and Sir, wiping tears from your eyes. It was over. "Thank you, my friends. Can you give Loki and I a moment alone?" "Of course," Sir said as Thor looked on confusedly. "But we should be celebrating together! Why do you need -" he was cut off as Sir grabbed his upper arm and dragged him away with an eye roll, whispering in his ear.

Once they were out of sight, you turned to face Loki, savoring the way his bright eyes met yours. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Loki. I never would've got through this without you." He looked at you seriously. "Yes you would've, you're stronger than you-" you stopped him as you planted a kiss on his lips, hard yet tender and filled with the utmost adoration. You broke apart and you looked up at him. "Loki, you're the only man I've ever known who has treated me like I deserve to be. Who really, truly cares for me. I mean, Thor is great, but you … It's different with you. I understand that now." You breathed out as your cheeks flamed up. "And I know I'm about to have my child and things are going to get even more complicated but I just needed to tell you how much I care about you and … Well how much I love you, Loki," you said quietly. "Y/N," he whispered gently, running a thumb across your smooth cheek. You gazed up at him with happy tears in your eyes. He let out a small laugh. "I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. And even with your child on the way, that's not going to change." He kissed you again gently, running a hand through your hair. You intertwined his hand with yours. "Stay with me tonight?" You murmured. His face broke into an contented smile. "It would be my absolute pleasure, Y/N," he replied as he kissed you again. And for the first time in your life, you knew in your heart that you truly had found a man that would love you unconditionally, and you would love him just the same .


	3. Chapter 3

–Due date–

"Uh, Y/N," Thor looked at you concernedly, tilting his head sideways. "Is that supposed to happen?" You had just stood up to stretch your back then looked down and saw a pool of liquid down at your feet. Your body tensed with a contraction. "Shit, that would be my water breaking," you groaned out, your face turning white. "Someone find Sif. And where's Loki?"

Right on cue, your boyfriend entered your room hurriedly with Sif. "I figured I should have her here because you seem close - oh my god," Loki cried out as he noticed the liquid on the floor. "This is it, you're having your child!" You snapped as another contraction ripped through you. "Nobody's having any kid unless somebody gets me to the medical ward, now!" You hissed through gritted teeth. You and Sif laced your arms around each other as she half carried you down the hall; Thor and Loki trailing right behind.

-  
You had been settled in the medical ward with the finest healers and midwives in Asgard. Sif and some of the other female guards were allowed in as well, but keeping in accordance with Asgardian custom, the men could not enter the room until after the woman gave birth. While Thor rested comfortably on a plush couch in the hall, Loki paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair.

"Sit down, brother," Thor said gently, tugging at Loki's cape and pulling him down next to him. "Y/N will be fine and so will her child. She is strong."

A guttural scream echoed throughout the hall as you cried out in pain, followed by a steady torrent of obscenities. Both Thor and Loki winced. "I am so glad I will never have to endure that," Thor said, his eyes wide. Loki nodded, responding hoarsely. "Me too. But I hate not being able to be with her."

Thor grabbed his brother's arm consolingly. "I know. But it is tradition. The man must sit outside, listening to the torment of the woman he loves, but is unable to help her. You want to shield her from this pain but you cannot. While she suffers, you do as well. It will bring you even closer; whenever she is in pain, you will remember this and be there undoubtedly."

Loki looked at Thor in surprise. "That was actually fairly wise, Thor."

Thor leaned back with a satisfied smile on his face, quickly changing to a frown as he heard you scream and start swearing again. Loki buried his face in his hands. "Do not fret, Loki. It will be over soon enough."

—  
Within an hour, your screams had subsided. Both Loki and Thor jumped up at the sound of your weak laughter and a baby's wails.

Sif opened the door, smiling. "You can come in and see her and her son."

"A son!" Thor cried out excitedly, rushing in the door. Loki stepped in tentatively, unsure of how to react around the newborn and his girlfriend. Thor was already kneeling by the bedside, gazing at the hold adoringly. "Well done, Y/N. He will make a mighty warrior someday! And of course, I will train him." Thor said happily. You smiled weakly. "How about we get him walking first, Thor?" You said hoarsely, your voice still raw from your screams.

"Isn't that right, little one?" You crooned at the small bundle in your arms, rubbing a thumb over his soft cheek. You looked up at Loki and were startled to see his eyes were filled with tears. "What's wrong, love?" He shook his head, sitting down next to you and kissing your forehead gently. "Nothing. He just looks a lot like you." You gazed at your tiny baby boy proudly, his dark eyes mirroring your own. Loki smoothed your hair away from your sweaty face. "You did amazing." You smiled. "Come here, Lo." He placed his lips on yours and you broke apart as your son squirmed in your arms. You rocked him gently and kissed his nose. "Do you want to hold him?" Loki looked at you nervously. "I've never held a baby," he answered. "Well, first time for everything. It's easy. C'mon." You transferred your son gently into Loki's arms, beaming at him as he gazed at your child tenderly, holding him as if he were glass. "He's so small," Loki said quietly, smiling. "Hi, little one. I'm Loki. You have such a wonderful mother." He handed your son back to you gingerly. "What are you going to name him?" Thor inquired.

You looked at your son for a moment lovingly as a tiny smile broke out across his face. "Eitan," you said softly. "Endure," Loki murmured. "My son will be happy and strong," you whispered, kissing his forehead as happy tears came to your eyes. "Just like his mother," Loki replied, gazing into your eyes. "Loki," you said softly as you started crying. "I couldn't have done this without you. And I know we've only been together a few months, but I trust you with my life. And the life of Eitan's. And I know I want to be with you for the rest of my days." You exhaled. "Will you do me and my son the honor of raising him as his adopted father?" Loki's eyes grew wide and he nodded fervently, kissing you hard. "The honor is mine, Y/N. Wow, I'm a father now," he said laughing. You laughed too and he kissed your cheek. "I was going to do this later when you were feeling better, but I don't think there's anytime better than this."

Loki moved away from your bed, and you felt your pulse race as he dropped to one knee. "Oh my god," you whispered happily. Out came the ring, simply wrought in a delicate silver band and shining with a beautiful diamond stone. "Like you said," Loki said hurriedly. "It's only been a few months, but we both know that we want to be with each other forever. I love you, Y/N, and want to spend the rest of my life loving and protecting you and your –well, I guess now our – son. Will you marry me?" "Yes, yes, of course, I love you," you said ecstatically, clasping one hand over your mouth as Loki slid the ring on your finger. You and Loki turned startled as sobbing started, Sif and Thor were both crying hard. "A baby, an engagement, this is the most beautiful day," Thor choked out. Sif nodded wordlessly, wiping tears away. "You both deserve each other."

You looked at Loki and Eitan with joy in your heart – grateful that you had made it through every hardship and struggle to bring you to this moment. Despite Noba, despite everything, the power of love and friendship had been there to guide you on your journey. "I love you all so much," you said, laughing through your tears. Encircled in the arms of your fiancé and friends with your son in your lap, you felt whole.


End file.
